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Today, Kitty is posting this for me. Ive been having a hard time keeping between my physical strength and my mental clearness together to do much blogging and have also been very confused about how I've been feeling and doing. Im really sorry to say that I find no way to death with diginity i nthe few minutes that Im able to grab where I feel like I can think reasonably I end u pgetting numb by the pain medication and the pain that comes if I dont take them.
I truley wish I could be dead now. dont tell anyone. I've been getting wonderful support from Gail from various peole who have come to the house to help like Karen, Charla, Kitty and Polly, Max has been a joy, my family, Ben, Megan and the people IN THE familY have made strong efforts to support me.
I have a new health aid named Rosie. Who has been doing a great job of supporting Gail and Karen during this time but the economics are devastating. What turned out to be an effort to show that one could die with dignity has turned out to be a bit of a joke. We do our best to maintain a normal household and I am so well supported by loving friends.
But there is no end in sight and as far as I can see no relief.
Thank you for everything you've done keep up im sorry to soud so weak, but its the way I've been feeling the last weeks. I know everyone has to get on with their own lives. i've been doin some drawing that has helped me express my feelilngs and its been interesting and helped me get to my deep down feelings. There seem to be many things on the internet that would be good for me to look at, but Im having trouble reading what these things are between glasses and oxygen. Oxygen depravation.
I'll try to keep posted as I can be more lucid and thank you for checking in with me.
Scott oh... AND HORRAY FOR THOSE DEMS111111
I truley wish I could be dead now. dont tell anyone. I've been getting wonderful support from Gail from various peole who have come to the house to help like Karen, Charla, Kitty and Polly, Max has been a joy, my family, Ben, Megan and the people IN THE familY have made strong efforts to support me.
I have a new health aid named Rosie. Who has been doing a great job of supporting Gail and Karen during this time but the economics are devastating. What turned out to be an effort to show that one could die with dignity has turned out to be a bit of a joke. We do our best to maintain a normal household and I am so well supported by loving friends.
But there is no end in sight and as far as I can see no relief.
Thank you for everything you've done keep up im sorry to soud so weak, but its the way I've been feeling the last weeks. I know everyone has to get on with their own lives. i've been doin some drawing that has helped me express my feelilngs and its been interesting and helped me get to my deep down feelings. There seem to be many things on the internet that would be good for me to look at, but Im having trouble reading what these things are between glasses and oxygen. Oxygen depravation.
I'll try to keep posted as I can be more lucid and thank you for checking in with me.
Scott oh... AND HORRAY FOR THOSE DEMS111111
I'm glad you're doing some drawing.
I am sorry about the agony of it all. Even just having a bad cold or a bad case of the flu~ which are NOTHING in relation to what you must be going through~ are dignity killers, so I can only take those flu kind of feelings and try to mutiply that a kazillion times to imagine what your dying process must feel like.
Helpless, I imagine. And yet you have shared so much. Your life enriches mine, all of ours.
Thank you again Scott, and know that you will be remembered.
(Anonymous)
And yes ... hurray for the Dems. Too bad their first job will be mopping things up.
-- Greg
me
(Anonymous)